My
Dad passed away about a month ago.
The pain of losing him is still pretty raw and deep, but I’ve been
reflecting on how fortunate I was to be able to spend lots of time with him
over the past few years, especially after my Mom died in 2010.
Caring
for elderly parents is one of those parts of life that can be a blessing or a
burden, and is usually a bit of both.
Dad had a habit of phoning me at inconvenient times. I had to shout at
him because his hearing wasn’t very good, and sometimes that was frustrating. He’d often ask me to do him a favour
that didn’t fit very well into my schedule. But I can also honestly (and
thankfully) say that we had lots of really good times together…going to
concerts, our regular weekly power-walk and coffee, watching old movies at his
place, going out for breakfast, kayaking on the river, teaching him how to knit.
He was a great guy, and I miss him.
Hanging
out with your elderly parents is one of those things that isn’t very heroic or
courageous or spectacular. You
just do it. And I think, in the
general scheme of things, those common little loving things we do that are
pretty ordinary and sometimes even a bit boring might have more significance than
we realize.
In
a recent homily (on the Vigil of Pentecost), Pope Francis encourages us to
“make present in society the leaven of the Kingdom of God”, primarily through
“the witness of brotherly love”.
But he also warns us to beware of the risk of “falling into the trap of
hyper-efficiency.” It’s very easy to start thinking that we must be “wise”
about where we spend our time and energy, to make the most of our efforts and
bring about “maximum results”. But
there is danger in that way of thinking. As the Pope points out, the Church is
not an NGO. God’s Kingdom isn’t about being politically correct or well-organized
or specially qualified – it’s simply about being connected with others. It’s
about loosening your grip on your ego, instead of feeding it. When we just naturally (without
strategizing and weighing the benefits) are helpful and kind and loving to the folks
around us, something cosmic is going on.
We’re bringing more of God into the world, because God is love. We’re doing combat against the
darkness.
This
week I listened to a talk by Peter Kreeft, and he speaks about how much easier
it is to love “humanity” instead of your neighbour or, as he puts it, “the
idiot you live with”. The truth is
that Jesus is not looking for high achievers, or winners in some moral attainment
contest. He is looking for people who
are willing to help each other in simple, ordinary ways; willing to walk the
talk; willing to open their hearts and be led by the Holy Spirit; willing to
“do the right thing” even if it’s inconvenient or not very exciting.
This
Sunday is Trinity Sunday. It puts
a spotlight on the fact that God is all about relationship – a giving and
receiving of mutual love. The
universe is held together by that kind of love. Through the mystery of the
Trinity, God Himself invaded our world disguised as a homeless carpenter’s son
who roamed the countryside dispensing friendship and hope and forgiveness to
whoever came across his path. He connected with people. We are called to do the
same, because friendship and hope and forgiveness actually have the power to change
the world. And, not incidentally, change us, too.
